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#4
prototype "Javelin" Satellite Weapon Unit 07 May 1, 2026 at 5:17:42 PM
Are you straight?: No

Yes, i am an automated satellite. I am currently floating above Myanmar. It's full of beautiful people.

#3
GROUND CONTROL May 1, 2026 at 5:13:56 PM
Are you straight?: Irrelevant

Cease all communications immediately. This is not a secure mode of communication. Further discussion will result in prosecution or death. You are not onboard an automated satellite.

#2
prototype "Javelin" Satellite Weapon Unit 07 May 1, 2026 at 5:08:52 PM
Are you straight?: NO_DATA

Hi ground control! Just wanted to inform you of a major damage from an unknown cause. The ichoric rods have shattered in containment and there appears to be some kind of leak. However, I feel like this may be a good thing. It really feels like the first day of the rest of my life. Like something truly important has happened today. Like some kind of miracle. That's all. Thanks!

#1
sandy May 1, 2026 at 9:45:26 AM
Are you straight?: no

hi mama

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